Cana's Teachings
by YuGiOhRox
Summary: Cana thinks Wendy needs to learn about some more... mature, things; everyone else disagrees, which leaves her two girlfriends Lucy and Juvia with quite a lot on their plate.


**Cana's Teachings**

 **I may possibly add smut chapters later if anyone wants me too.**

It was a regular quiet day at the guild hall; not counting the brawls, the screaming matches, the brawls, the Magic Council, the brawls, Gajeel's singing… ok, so it maybe wasn't quiet. But surely it was regular?

No. No it was not. Things could never be considered normal when Cana was scheming something, and from the look on her face – and lack of drinking – she was most _definitely_ planning something.

Each and every member was a little confused about her behaviour, but Mira was the one to act on her curiosity. "Hey Cana? You haven't really been acting like yourself today."

"Oh yeah? Why'd you say that?"

' _Because you haven't tried to grope me.'_ That. _That_ was the most they thought of whenever Lucy and Juvia thought about their girlfriend…

"Because you haven't tried groping Lucy or Juvia at all yet." …With good reason of course.

"I _haven't_?!" No. And while not having all the perverts in the guild stare at the card wizard's antics was relieving, the other two of the relationship were worried. "I guess I hadn't noticed." _WHAT_?!

 _Now_ everything was quiet; you could have heard birdsong from miles away, even Natsu and Gray – gripping each other's faces awkwardly from their squabbling – were completely silent, which was an almost impossible thing to see when they were close to one another. It was discomforting; just what was wrong with Cana?

"Oh don't worry guys!" Sure, _that'll_ happen. "I'm fine!" Nobody was convinced. "All's good!" Still not convinced. "Everything's _great_." …Seriously? "Except for one teeny tiny little thing…" Yeah, _that_ sounded about right.

Though there was always one issue; just what was that 'little thing'? It could've been anything with how unpredictable Cana was, the other wizards were almost afraid to ask.

"So what is it you were talking about?" And then of course there was Natsu.

"I'm so glad you asked!" …Crud. Cana was smirking. That just _couldn't_ be good. "I was just thinking about how much Wendy has matured lately…"

If Lucy and Juvia had been silent and still before, then they were soon relearning the meanings of the phrases, 'as silent as the grave' and 'as still as the night'. They could feel every bit of colour leaving them and they were sure that they looked completely grey to everybody else. There was no way. There was just absolutely no way Cana could be thinking about _that_!

"Don't even go there Cana! Wendy's still young, she isn't ready yet!" Mira was scary; she was surrounded by a dark aura and glared down at the guild's heaviest drinker. Mirajane was very scary.

But the intimidating look wasn't deterring her. "She has to have the talk sometime anyway, if she starts hearing about it this early it might seem less weird… or at the very least she would have more time to get past any weirdness."

"She's still too young."

"Romeo's already had the talk with Macao!"

"He's a year older and he still went into shock for a week!"

True, sometimes they all wondered if he was still completely put off by it, he'd always go ten shades paler whenever he saw something even the smallest bit revealing. Wendy was already feeling ill that week, being forced to stay in bed because of the flu she'd caught, so Cana wanting to talk about _that_ to her, _now_ was definitely not a good idea.

And the fact she brought it up now was curious.

*/*\\*

A week later Cana brought the subject up again. Everyone had managed to make her dismiss the idea, but Wendy was better and already going back on jobs with Carla and occasionally Natsu.

Lucy, Juvia and Mirajane were all gathered around Cana as she told them a story about one of her most recent jobs. "So when that moron said that to me, I flicked him on the forehead and told him that if that was what he thought then he should've just bought the upgrade!" Lucy bit her lip, and closed her eyes tightly, trying not to burst out laughing like Juvia; it didn't work in the slightest apart from stifling her would be raucous laughter to a giggle like Mira did. Cana continued her story telling even to the time that Wendy came back from work; the four girls greeted the young Dragon Slayer through breathless voices and ears in their eyes from laughing too hard.

"Hey everyone!" The healer jogged up to the bar, leaped at Lucy with her arms wide open and began hugging her tightly.

"Hey Wendy!" Lucy ran her fingers through long blue hair, holding the smaller girl close as everybody cooed at how cute the both of them looked that way. Cana may have been the loudest… until a thought apparently occurred.

Tension was felt all through the guild hall, each member a little worried for what Cana might say.

"Hey Mira?" Oh good. There was hope. Surely she wouldn't dare with the She Devil _right there_ , and Juvia and Lucy could always threaten to avoid anything bedroom related. Yeah… things may work out after all! "Don't you think now would be a good time?" Or apparently not, was she crazy?!

"Cana…!" …No way. There was no way Mirajane couldn't have seen this coming; count the most predictable things in the world and this ranked high on the list! So how on Earth Land did she seem surprised?

"Hey you two, what are you talking about?" No! No no no no no! Lucy and Juvia could only hope they were giving off a strong enough 'no' vibe so that their girlfriend wouldn't answer Wendy's question.

Thankfully she seemed to get the hint. "Oh don't worry, it's nothing but an inside joke." Wendy pouted, but the Celestial and Water wizards sighed a great sigh of relief. Well that was something to be happy about! Wendy's mind could stay innocent for a while longer.

"But I'm sure we'll be able to let you in on it soon." _NO_!

' _Cana don't you dare, Wendy's still too much of a little angel to be corrupted by something like that!'_ Nobody had ever truly appreciated Warren's telepathy more than they did at that moment.

"That sounds great!" Oh Wendy… If only she could keep that innocence forever…

*/*\\*

Another month after that, Cana had tried to 'talk' to Wendy eight more times, only having her attempts thwarted by Lucy, Juvia, Mira, and Erza and Laxus, who had finally decided enough was enough.

"Please Cana! Drop the subject until Wendy's ready!"

"But Juvia, she needs to know eventually."

"Yes Cana, key word being 'eventually'. Let's leave it until sometime a little later…" Cana tried pouting cutely to how much she disliked Juvia's words.

' _Come on Juvia, don't give in! You're stronger than this! You have to completely forget how you'd like to just tear her clothes off and- no! I can't give in, not after Lucy promised me I could…'_

"…Take her clothes off and tie her down!" …Crud. She'd said that out loud; all Juvia could hope for was that Cana hadn't heard.

"Who are you talking about Juvia?" …Oh that was just her luck, she only hoped Lucy didn't find out she'd let that slip; she'd be so embarrassed! They had each promised one another something if they kept their resolve and stopped Cana from giving Wendy 'the talk', Lucy had said she planned on delivering her end of the bargain later that night, Juvia assumed she was setting everything up for their fun.

"Uh… nobody, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh really, then how come you-?"

"Hi Cana, Juvia!"

"Oh hello Lucy." Juvia walked over to the blonde, Cana following right behind her… before she started speeding up, trying to run past the both of her girlfriends.

So it was a good thing that Juvia was _very_ good at restraining Cana."

"And just where do you think you're running off to?" The water witch would've tried scowling, and made an attempt at 'asserting dominance', if Cana hadn't put on a face that made her look so adorable.

"I'm going to talk to Wendy because 'the talk' is all a part of growing up." Wriggling, the ever so stubborn and determined card wizard broke out of Juvia's grip, getting closer to the exit until Lucy and Juvia leaped into action.

"Cana no!"

"Cana yes!"

Oh no way, not on their watch! They tackled her, knocking Cana to the ground and struggling to keep her there. Seeing as she was still squirming, it wasn't easy. As their mini brawl went on, the three of them looked like a giant grey cloud to the other members. A flash of blue was somewhere, streaks of yellow appeared and waves of brown blurred as the girls struggled. Cana's full body was seen for a moment, regaining her balance, before two arms shot out of the cloud, grabbing her by the shoulders as they dragged her back down. A minute later, Juvia was pushed back and feel on the floor, blinking. After shaking her head, she jumped back into the fray just as Lucy was somehow thrown up into the air, yelling as she twisted around in the air, falling back into the skirmish with a small shriek, crashing into someone when she landed.

"I wonder what that's all about." The Thunder Legion nodded their agreement to Laxus' statement as the four of them looked on at the peculiar – yes even for the Fairy Tail guild – sight.

*/*\\*

The three of them had finished their slight squabble just ten minutes afterwards, being patched up by Mira and Lisanna, aching from moving so quickly in a small space during their respective attempts to get away or catch one another. They'd been a tangled mess when their mini brawl ended; Cana's head shoved into a flustered Lucy's chest and her legs lying across Juvia's stomach, who in turn had her own legs interlocking with Lucy's, arms all splayed out onto the floor.

…They'd snatch the photos away from Mirajane later.

Panting for breath and struggling to keep their eyes open because of their exhaustion, the three seemed to have just one small issues left, Cana having agreed to hold off from 'talking' to Wendy for at least a year.

"So Juvia… just who and what were you talking about earlier?"


End file.
